for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
