you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
