Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
