a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
