i barfeds in our rink
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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