nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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