I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
