i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
