You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
