Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass

(864): View more from South Carolina

what???

(803): View more from South Carolina

AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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(803): I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass (864): what??? (803): AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS http://tfl.nu/2t7d

Replies (3) Good night (1337) Bad night (485)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time

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(248): I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time http://tfl.nu/uesv

Replies (8) Good night (1041) Bad night (5247)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?

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(919): Have you ever tried running while drinking 151? http://tfl.nu/mfna

Replies (4) Good night (2125) Bad night (1284)
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(415): View more from California

Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point

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(415): Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point http://tfl.nu/8yzz

Replies (2) Good night (1227) Bad night (1118)
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(631): View more from New York

After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.

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(631): After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment. http://tfl.nu/pq89

Replies (19) Good night (1025) Bad night (2795)
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(812): View more from Indiana

I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.

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(812): I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday. http://tfl.nu/ol7y

Replies (11) Good night (2302) Bad night (634)
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(720): View more from Colorado

maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.

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(720): maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on. http://tfl.nu/wqnd

Replies (9) Good night (1263) Bad night (1032)
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(607): View more from New York

I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.

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(607): I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable. http://tfl.nu/31u9

Replies (9) Good night (445) Bad night (1429)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.

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(919): being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her. http://tfl.nu/7get

Replies (13) Good night (1867) Bad night (456)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.

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(859): Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club. http://tfl.nu/0u25

Replies (6) Good night (422) Bad night (730)
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(631): View more from New York

Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps

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(631): Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps http://tfl.nu/unlw

Replies (2) Good night (330) Bad night (695)
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(317): View more from Indiana

I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.

(1-317): View more from Indiana

As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.

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(317): I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing. (1-317): As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you. http://tfl.nu/0owh

Replies (5) Good night (1332) Bad night (370)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?

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(506): He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that? http://tfl.nu/rfrq

Replies (3) Good night (814) Bad night (328)
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(818): View more from California

We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.

(619): View more from California

I will find you...

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(818): We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank. (619): I will find you... http://tfl.nu/dshk

Replies (17) Good night (2393) Bad night (498)
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(301): View more from Maryland

You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there

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(301): You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there http://tfl.nu/jnb5

Replies (2) Good night (540) Bad night (242)

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