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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Did you go home with that guy without me?

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car

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• (714): View more from California

  He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry

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• (325): View more from Texas

  That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..

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• (916): View more from California

  The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (210): View more from Texas

  My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??

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• (607): View more from New York

  Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me

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• (657): View more from California

  Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.

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