Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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