I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
