you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize