I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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