But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
please don't ironically join a cult
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