like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
