and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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