meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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