Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
