shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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