kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
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One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
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what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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