My nipple is on Facebook.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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