oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
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