Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
What a dumb baby whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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