His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
