hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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