glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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