your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
