Pappa wants mamma naked
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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