Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize