Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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