Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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