Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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