Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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