How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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