I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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