yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
