I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize