im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I currently don't understand fingers.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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