I'm really into asian looking animals
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
