I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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