The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
