You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize