is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
