I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
