you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
