is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
