Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
