Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
