Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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