he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I enjoy the company of your penis
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
