Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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