you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize