Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm just crazy horny about you
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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