At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
