She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
