I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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